Embracing the Return: Seven Tips for Empty Nesters Welcoming Adult Children Back Home
A PURPOSEFUL LIFE
Jane Victoria Hide
Hi there, fellow empty nester! I know that when we first embraced the peace and quiet of an empty house, we thought we'd finally get to enjoy those long-lost luxuries of solitude and autonomy. But life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, doesn’t it? Whether it’s due to job changes, financial hiccups, or simply the need for a bit of familial comfort, our grown-up kids sometimes find their way back to the nest.
It’s a unique phase with its own set of challenges and blessings. While it can be wonderful to have them around again, it’s important to navigate this transition with care.
Here are seven tips to help you keep the peace and nurture your relationship as your adult child moves back in.
Establish Clear Boundaries Early On
First things first, let’s get the ground rules sorted out. Sit down with your adult child and discuss expectations—everything from household chores to privacy. Just as you did when they were growing up, clear communication will be your best friend. This isn't about setting strict rules but rather about understanding each other's needs and making sure everyone is on the same page. You could agree to jobs that you will be responsible for. I.e. empty the dishwasher.
Respect Their Independence
Your adult child may have been living on their own for a while, and it’s crucial to respect the independence they’ve grown accustomed to. Give them the space they need, and try not to hover or interfere. Remember, they’re back home for a reason, but that doesn’t mean they need to relinquish their adult status. Read this BLOG POST to help with communication.
Create Shared Spaces and Moments
While respecting their space is important, it’s also valuable to create opportunities for togetherness. Plan a weekly family dinner, game night, or movie marathon. These moments can help rebuild your bond and make the transition smoother for everyone. Your adult child has grown; it will be interesting to realise what’s changed.
Encourage Open Dialogue
It’s easy for tensions to build up if feelings aren’t expressed. Encourage open and honest communication. If something is bothering you or if you notice any changes in their behaviour, address it gently and constructively. A little empathy and understanding go a long way in maintaining a harmonious living environment. Do remember though that they have built independence and are not your young child anymore.
Reassess and Adapt Your Routines
Having your child back might disrupt your established routines. Take some time to reassess and adapt. Maybe you need to adjust your quiet times or find new ways to enjoy your personal activities. Flexibility is key to blending your new reality with the existing dynamics of your home. Again, have a conversation and see what works for all of you.
Offer Support, Not Overreach
Be there for them emotionally and practically, but avoid stepping into a parental role unless they ask for it. They’ve likely learned to manage their own lives and make their own decisions. Support them in their journey without taking over, and let them come to you for advice and help when they’re ready. Remember to listen, before you speak.
Celebrate the Moments Together
Finally, make an effort to celebrate the small victories and cherish the moments you have together. Whether it's a small achievement, a personal milestone, or just an ordinary day, acknowledging these moments helps strengthen your bond and creates positive memories. You can also use this time to create new traditions now that your child is older. Maybe a coffee date or walk in the park.
Navigating this new chapter might take some time and adjustment, but it’s also an opportunity to reconnect and build a deeper relationship with your adult child. Remember, it’s all about balance and mutual respect. Embrace the joy of having them back, and cherish the chance to share your home once again. After all, the nest is always better when it’s filled with love.
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Love and Support
Jane